topics: |  fiction | crime | india | expat |

A fascinating who-dun-it romp through the bylanes of indian society, with all its foibles and gastronomic variety. The entertaining detective - the Most Private Investigator Mr. Vish Puri (Chubby to friends and family, and Vishwas Puri for sales persons), continues his sleuthing in this, the second adventure from his "case files".

Hall has been living in Delhi for many years, and he has a sure touch for indianisms (particularly of the punjabi subspecies). Assisted by a motley crew of talented helpers with interesting names (Tubelight because he is slow to turn on in the mornings, Facecream, because she is adroit at changing faces, and Flush, because he had the temerity to install a flush toilet at his rural Haryana home).

The plot unfolds through something like seven mysteries (following list should not be a spoiler):

	1.  the laughing murder of Suresh Jha
	2.  the twin murders at Pandey's
	3.  the mystery of Maharaj Swami's ashram
	4.  the newspaper collage threat messages
	5.  the school admission racket
	6.  mummy-ji's kitty party robbery
	7.  conning bagga-ji into buying an overpriced property

mysteries #1 to #4 are interconnected, and the others run independently.

Mummy-ji detective

One idea that sets these novels apart is the role of Puri's feisty mummy-ji
who in the earlier mystery solved the sub-case of The Person Who Had Dared
Shoot at Her Son.   The presence of Mummy-ji and the integration of stories
(sometimes unrelated) from Indian life make it what one may called a
"soft-boiled" detective story...

Here mummy-ji solves the kitty party robbery which is too small to be
looked at by Vish Puri.  Mummy-ji conducts her own investigations while
hiding it from her children.  This involves activities alien to her social
class, such as befriending maids on long bus journeys and visits to
slum-like accommodations of lowly menials.

Mummy-ji needs to do this investigation herself, not because she enjoys
such things (heaven forbid), but because of the following mysterious logic:
	a) her husband was a policeman
	b) she is the ex-principal of modern school, (delhi's most
		aristocratic school),
	c) the police, who have "rajma for brains", will not do anything, and
	d) Chubby (the family name for Vish Puri) is busy in his own
		investigations, na?

When the sons call her phone in the midst of such investigations, she
gives evasive answers and plods on with her own thing.

In addition to these mysteries there are several other subplots like the
godh bharai celebrations relating to Puri's daughter who is expecting
twins, the grim obsequies of an electric crematorium, the mechanics of
obtaining a darshan at an ashram of a major guru...

Twists and turns and improbabilities

On the whole, each story twists and turns in its unlikely ways, and comes
to a conclusion adroitly within the page limit, though the culprits in #3
and #4 are never apprehended.

The plot is a long-shot yarn - even more so than
The Case of the Missing Servant, and the main mystery involves the use
of an invention which may actually be impossible... But hey, you are having
too much fun to really bother.

I also must say that I have my doubts also about this method to stop your
heartbeat (almost):

	Ved Karat told me he felt Dr. Jha’s pulse but could not find one. How
	was it done?” he asked.
	   “Simple, sir.” It was Rupin speaking again. “Dr. Jha had a golf ball
	taped to his underarm. As he was playing dead, he squeezed it against
	his chest. The pressure slowed his pulse enough to be
	undetectable. It’s an old guru trick. They use it during yoga to
	prove they have reached an elevated state.”  267

Colourful characters and gentle humour

But it is the colourful characters - often unconnected with the mystery -
like Bagga-ji the irrepressible business failure, or the NRI coconut,
and the subtle humour that describes various indian situations that keeps
you turning pages.  For example, here is a deadpan description of Haridwar
that you will find in no tourist book:

	The holy city of Haridwar, where drops of the elixir of immortality
	are believed to have been spilled by the celestial bird Garuda,
	announced itself with a line of budget hotels with names like
	Disney Inn.  138

An obsession with Food

Particularly interesting are the occasionally detailed description of
food, again with a punjabi slant, that is consumed by Vish Puri despire
various dire health warnings.   your tastebuds curl up at the thought of
"paapri chaat with lashings of tamarind chutney" (from a a roadside stand),
or the rich green of "pistachio barfi and sweetened saffron milk" (for a
family function), or the multi-cultural aroma "of poha and baked beans" (at
the elite Gymkhana club),

A few infelicities here and there - moska for moksa, and the reference to
Muslims in India as being "among the most marginalised minorities."  If the
latter is specifically true for this religious group (as opposed to the
poorer illiterate groups, of whom there are more among the muslims), we
(the Indians who read english novels) are surely not sensitive to it - the
few muslims that one runs into in the elite schools and colleges and
workspaces are invariably better off than the masses of their religious
brethren.

On the whole yet another great Vish Puri yarn. Go get it! 

Excerpts

NRI US-returned client: Coconut - brown on outside and white inside.  5

[Opening para of chapt 2]
Jha looked calm, in spite of having been told this was the day he was going
to die. 12

the first thing [Puri] did after entering his office - that is, after
turning on the air conditioning -- was to light an incense stick in the
little puja shrine... 26
[Puri's religiosity seems a bit out of character with his strong
disbelief in the physical apparition and religious gurus.]

[Suddenly, Puri] noticed something outside his window – a loaf of white
bread dangling like bait on a string.
    It dropped out of sight. But soon a carton of cornflakes appeared. A
minute later, a carton of Mango Frooti.
    Zahir, who was blind and owned the tiny general store next to Bahri
Sons, was restocking from the storage space he rented upstairs. 28

Puri's servant Sweetu:
was being sent for afternoon maths classes.  Next year, the orphan boy would
begin an apprenticeship as a mechanic; when he was old enough, [the Puris]
would also find him a wife.  This was the sort of help all well-off Indians
should be providing to those less fortunate than themselves, in the
detective's opinion. 61

[freely uses words like tarra [tharra]; there's a glossary at back for such
 words.  which of these will we see in OED soon?

Chanakya [300 BC] had emphasized the importance of wealth creation.  Perhaps
the world's first economist, not to mention a political genius, he was also
an ardent capitalist.
Chanakya would have ridiculed the Nehru dynasty's protectionist policies and
applauded India's recent economic rebirth...  [but wd be appalled at the
corrupt government - India was ruled by a bunch of bloody goondas.] 62

Camel-milk ice cream

[sister Preeti's husband Bagga-ji's failed business ideas:
Preeti: The ice-cream itself was quite delicious.
Puri : Problem was milking those bloody camels! 66

No one spotting the auto-rickshaw driver would have guessed that he was a
sattri -- in ancient Chanakyan terminology, a spy.  Nor that he knew every
brothel, illegal cricket-gambling den and cockerel-fighting venue in the city
-- not to mention most of its best forgers, fences, smugglers, safe crackers,
and purveyors of everything from used Johnny Walker bottles to wedding-night
porn.  [TH has "fencers" for "fences"]
[Tubelight : b. Baldev Pawar, to a family of thieves, had turned to a spy
after a jail stint.]  p.68

Robbery at kitty party

mummy-ji abt the police: got rajma for brains seems like.
[mummy-ji acts like a blundering dodo and manages to get the thief's
fingerprints on her compact, mobile and Gita.  also she scratches him by
accident to collect his skin on her fingernail - for DNA.  But the police
officer brushes these off as evidence - how would one prove in court that
these were from the criminal?] 92
[in parallel with VP solving the murder, mummy-ji carries her own
investigation into the kitty party robbery and eventually nabs the
criminal...]

Puri rarely used the Metro... "Equality is all very well, but let other
people enjoy.  I myself will keep to my car and driver." 112

[Puri] knew only too well that India's Muslims, the largest minority in the
world, were among its most marginalised.  116

At Manish the Magnificient's magic bistro, a jazz pianist and a saxophonist
were playing Dave Brubeck's 'Take five'. 122

Puri hated these 'trendy' haunts.   Like the malls, they were indicative of
crass materialism and hedonism undermining family values...
Take those females at the next table, for example, Puri thought. Baring their
legs in public, drinking alcohol, using gutter language: totally
disgraceful.  Or those two nancy boys over there, the ones in silk shirts and
big sideburns. By God, they’re holding hands actually! 123

Manish the Magnificient retrieved his cigar from the ashtray and blew on the
tip until it glowed orange again. 129

NH 34, which ran for 334 km, had been under construction for nearly a
decade. 133

Given her talent for blending into almost any situation and 'putting on so
many faces', Puri had dubbed her Facecream. 135

RTI = Freedom of Information act [to help phoren readers?]

[nice dichotomies]
The holy city of Haridwar, where drops of the elixir of immortality are
believed to have been spilled by the celestial bird Garuda, announced itself
with a line of budget hotels with names like Disney Inn.  138

Mrs. Duggal, who was expected to do a good deal of crying during their visit
to the ashram, tested the menthol stick she kept in her handbag for such
situations.  Rubbing it beneath her nostrils quickly brought on tears. 139

Five-Star Ashrams

Had it not been for the bronze statues of Hindu saints and the devotees in
white kurtas and sarongs, [the Adobe of Eternal Love] might have passed for
an American university campus.  Manicured lawns dotted with shade trees.
Picket signs pointing : DARSHAN HALL; ANANDA RESIDENCE; ABODE OF KNOWLEDGE;
ATM.  140

[At the Abode of Health,] an ayurvedic cure was also offered for
homosexuality, which Maharaj Swami considered a 'sickness and disease.' 140
[later, facecream's checkup:]
we will check your marma or pressure points.  There are 107 in all... 179

---

Lakshmi Garodia was an ardent fan of the Godman.
   “One can feel his presence and power through the TV, actually,” he said. “I
understand he’s healed so many of people.”  145

The Swami-ji's books, CDs and DVDs were sold in the same cloying manner as
soap powder.
   "It's like 'new, improved Hinduism for the reaching of spots others
can't," the detective had commented to his wife recently. 146

he broke into a rendition of "Tu cheez badi hai mast mast." 168

VP drove through the Civil Lines, where the British stationed its troops
before the War of Independence of 1857. 170

lingo at the DU: "what's the funda dude?" "nice half-pants." 170

moshka - union with god.  [serious typo!] 174

Maharaj Swami's sermon after Queenie [Facecream] has a vision:
   God is like the ocean.  But like raindrops taken up by clouds, you have
   become separated from Him.  For so long you have drifted through the sky.
   Sometimes feeling light, other times dark and angry.  But always aimless,
   with no purpose.  Now it is time to complete your journey.  It is a long,
   difficult one with many obstacles.  You must be prepared to go through
   transitions and purify yourself like water falling on the mountain and
   passing through rock.  Those who are lazy and become distracted will get
   trapped in stagnant pools deep beneath the earth.  Those who overcome
   their own egos will join tributaries and eventually great rivers.  This is
   the way back to the all-embracing Ocean where you will experience
   everlasting love. 174

[donor to ashram included]
'scooter raja' R.K. Roy, whose company Roy Motors controlled 64%  of India's
motorbilke business. 178

[of holy men and gurus]
Building wells, helping tsunami victims -- that was all done to impress
others, to build a saintly reputation.  Power was the only thing that
motivated such men.  They were intoxicated by it. 187

Non-veg jokes

Santa Singh was talking to Banta Singh about his love life.  "So, Santa, tell
me how is it going with the girls:" Santa answers: "Women to me are nothing
but sex objects."  He shakes his head, "whenever I mention sex, they
object!" 199

One doctor ie sxamining a girl of admirable proportions.  Holding his
stethoscope to her chest he says, "OK, big breaths."
"Yes, I know," she replies.  "and I'm only fifteen!"

modern chess's ancient India precursor, chaturanga.  [mantri, sippoy,
kutharei (horse), yaanei (elephant), iratham (chariot, rook). 213

Uma [the hairdresser] lived in Chhatarpur, a vast warren of three-storeyed
apartment blocks.  Although 'completed' in the past three years, they looked
half-finished -- bare brickwork, missing window frames, loose cinder blocks
in place of missing steps leading up to front entrances.
[Water for the toilet had to be brought from a shared borewell in the
street] 254

Ved Karat told me he felt Dr. Jha’s pulse but could not find one. How
was it done?” he asked.
    “Simple, sir.” It was Rupin speaking again. “Dr. Jha had a golf ball
taped to his underarm. As he was playing dead, he squeezed it against
his chest. The pressure slowed his pulse enough to be
undetectable. It’s an old guru trick. They use it during yoga to
prove they have reached an elevated state.”  267

Bhartia Auntie had bad hips and walked with her feet splayed like a circus
clown. 279

The minister took off his glasses, breathed on one of the lenses and began
to clean it with a cloth.  303

Some Indian-Englishisms

“Lakshmi Garodia up from Singapore only,”    141

"Two kinds of intelligence there are, na? Information and IQ, also." 151

“That is what I said only.” 190

“Chubby is doing investigation of this Dr. Jha murder, na?" 198

VP: "Now tell me: How all the levitation was done?” 266

“Some people are lacking in moral fibers, na,” said Mummy. 284

[But the Indian-English bits don't work too well, just the next paragraph,
the same characters will be speaking a complex English construction that
would be unlikely for someone saying the other form.  Here is an instance.]

"Her husband is smuggling all the same."
“Him? A smuggler of what?" exclaimed Rumpi. ... "Actually, Mummy-ji, I don’t
want to know. These revelations are proving far too depressing."

Food snippets

And now a list of food items mentioned...

* ice-cooled coconut p.2 (in passing)
* aunties ate spicy dhokla garnished with fresh coriander and green chillies. 7

* veg cutlet - drenched in a quarter-bottle of Maggi Chilli sauce. p.8
* aloo tikki masala [?? does this dish exist??]
	he scraped the last bit of chutney off the bottom of the tobacco-leaf
	plate. p.8
* a jeera cola chusky, with extra syrup. 8

* [Puri eats his fill] of paapri chaat with lashings of tamarind chutney at a
     roadside stand. 110

* When his aloo paratha was placed in front of him, [Inspector Singh] scowled
     at the plate and growled, "Where's the aachaar?" 161

* [idlis for VP].  He immediately cut off a portion of one of the rice patties,
     drowned it in coconut chutney and some spicy sambar and devoured it. 163

* [Rumpi supervising preparations for Jaiya's godh bharai]
     pistachio barfi and sweetened saffron milk. 188
* [at the ashram] breakfast consisted of papaya, apple and yogurt. 201

buffet at gymkhana club

* Puri returned to the table with an unlikely selection of poha and baked
     beans.   [Second round: French toast.]

* From his pocket he produced a red chilli carefully selected from his
    [rooftop garden].  It was a Naga Jolokia, better known ad the Ghost Chilli,
    the hottest in the world .

    The detective dipped the end in salt, bit into it and began to chew. 212

* [from Nirulas] chicken frankies, which he ate with plenty of green chutney
	and a salty lassi. 221

* boiled tea: milk, cardamoms, and darjeeling leaves  251
	[according to my sources, true darjeeling would rarely be used with such a
	heavily boiled concoction]

Rumpi's aloo paratha

* First, she added jeera, chilli and turmeric powder to the boiled aloo and
     then mixed the atta in a bowl with a little water until it turned into
     dough.  THen while [the maid] Monika mopped the floor, Rumpi heated
     her tava and retrieved the ghee from the fridge.  ...
     [she was making] little dough balls, stuffing them with a potato
     mixture and rolling them out into flat discs... 252
* stirring the paalak panee 252

* tea and pinnis 266

* [Puri's snack for the vigil for the murdererer in the hospital] Soon the
       room was filled with the heady aroma of Hyderabadi biryani.  293